My best buys this month 

Rimmel Scandal eyes xtreme Mascara:

I tend to usually buy a higher end mascara,Bare minerals "lash domination" I have used for a couple of years now and get on really well with. But I was in need of a new one. With christmas just round the corner, and not really wanting to spend much on makeup, I decided to just head to boots to get one. I ended up choosing the "rimmel scandal eyes mascara" and I really like it! I can't really say a bad thing about it, its not clumpy, it dries really quickly, it doesn't transfer and makes my lashes appear really long. I don't know why, but I just expected it too be no good, and that I would have to return to one of my normal trusted brands. Its so affordable at £4.99 too. No complaints here.

New look Loungwear set:

I had been on the look out for a really good lounger set for a while. As soon as I get home I always put comfy clothes on, and if I'm not going anywhere I don't know about you, but I dont tend to not bother wearing an outfit. I guess this is the same for most people! I had found such a nice loungewear set from boux avenue which was £50 for the set. But, I had a 20% off code which then decided not to work. I got so annoyed and just decided not to order it, but I am so pleased I didn't,  whilst christmas shopping I came across this set for under £30 and its really soft and well made. The trousers tie around the waist with a big satin ribbon, and so does the top at the back Its really comfy and fits so nicely. I have to say I love nightwear! So loungwear is just that bit more acceptable during the day. I think! They've got quite a few different sets in at the moment,  so I would advise to have a look before heading to the more expensive shops.  (Sorry for the cringe photo! I could of put the shop one up, but I just prefer using my own.) 

Nuk Dummy:

So my mission to get Emelia to have a dummy to sooth her has kind of ended in the sense of i'm just going with what she wants. Sometimes she wants it, sometimes she doesn't! She's quite a finger sucker to be honest, so she does pacify herself occasionally. I was recommended to try the Nuk latex dummy which has a curved teat, and it is slightly dimpled and not as big as some of the other dummies out there. It worked as soon as I gave it to her, which usually she pulls the funniest faces, and just spits it out and cries! I would definitely recommend mums to give them a try which is why they are on my best buys, especially if there child is not taking to one. I just think Emelia isn't bothered by a dummy at all, and in the long run as I'm told by a lot of people I will probably be quite glad of this, but i'm pleased i've got this one, and also a "mam" one that seem to work if she really does want it.  

 Aero Hot chocolate

Me and my sister are massive hot chocolate lovers, (isn't everyone) but I am a bit fussy though so it has to be a good one. Not too thick, not too sweet, or too chocolatey. We came across this one just simply because it was on offer, and I hadn't seen it in shops before so we thought we would give it a go. I am so glad we did! I have tried a lot, but this one is my new favourite! I know its just a hot chocolate, but its perfect and definitely one to try (just dont look at the calorie/sugar content). So we made ours with frothy hot milk and topped with marshmallows and it tastes really luxurious and like one you would buy from a café. 

Snuffle babe vapour rub:

I've used a few other products from the snuffle babe range, which I find really work well. So when Emelia started to get blocked up again a couple of weeks a go, I thought I would try this too. Its basically adult vapour rub just in baby safe version, but smells very similar just a lot milder. It works in the same way so advises to place it on a cloth near to baby, or rub onto the neck and chest area so it can be easily inhaled. I also put it on Emelia's feet which I find works really well and it definitely helped her breath a lot more easily especially at night. You can't go wrong with this one, its a good one to have handy in the cupboard for when you may need it. 

This month has felt as though a lot has happened, and Emelia has really changed from a sleepy newborn to an smiley active baby ! She is so much more alert, and awake and her little personality is shining through so much. Even very early on I found she held herself quite well and has always been quite strong and not a really floppy baby if you know what I mean! but, her head control is so good now and she holds it up with no problem at all. She even turns her little head when you call her and say her name. She has been trying to sit unaided for quite a while but she's not quite ready, at the moment we do get squished baby as she tends to fall forward quite a bit!

The smiles have been coming a lot more ! My little serious baby doesn't like to just smile on cue however when she's relaxed at home she is so smiley and has giggled a few times too, which is literally the cutest sound ever ! She makes us laugh so much. She's so much more interested in her toys and actually playing with them and putting them in her mouth. All of a sudden she started grabbing toys !The other week I held her little blue elephant toy in front of her, and she just took it from me ! I can see her little hands moving around when theres something near by she wants to pick up.
At the end of her third month, our little miss long legs decided sitting down on our laps was no longer fun and standing up was what she would prefer (this girl knows what she wants!).. she also started bopping up and down and literally jumping her legs up when we held her under her arms. Her grandma brought her A jumperoo for Christmas and she was kind enough to let her have it early. Although its advised from 6 months, Emelia's head control is really good and she is so strong on her legs! Her little face lights up when we put her in it and she's really content in it , it's quite handy whilst I'm trying to do something like house work or cooking as she really enjoys being upright, and able to look around. It keeps her busy for a good while especially with the toys that are on the tray around her.
Bath time is something Emelia still really likes, and now we are able to keep her in the bath for a much longer compared to when she was a newborn. I still give her a bath everyday as its part of her routine, and also because she loves it so much. Her skin isn’t affected at all, and has not appeared dry or sensitive so I see  no reason why not too. Although she isnt sitting properly on her own I do prop her up and hold her so she can sit and play with toys. Her Grandpa also brought her a bubble machine which she watches and smiles away at !

This month we also had our first little holiday which went really well, you just need literally a camper van to transport everything you may or may not need even though we were only away for 2 nights I swear you need triple of everything our car was full to the brim. During this time we also saw fireworks which Emelia wasnt phased with at all. I think we were more worried than what she was. But we watched them from a distance and she was mesmerised the whole time. At 14 weeks Emelia weighs 13lb and is definitely filling out. Her little skinny legs have those cute little rolls and she is just so much more robust. You can feel the weight in her when carrying her around especially in her carseat. (I mean are those things ever light, even when babies are newborn?!)

Throughout Emelia’s third month I still exclusively Breastfed. I have to say this has probably been the easiest month. I find it so easy! I’m more confident with feeding out and about, and will only use a feeding room if the place I am at is particularly noisy, or she is ready for a nap, and I know she won’t feed efficiently. People as in strangers are also so nice about it too. They always compliment me for breastfeeding, and feeding out and about too. I when people breastfeed out and about it gives other mums a boost of confidence and also reassurance that it is okay and completely normal. I recently went to national trust hall and their restaurant had a "breastfeeding welcome" sticker. I dont know why I was so surprised to see it but I haven't seen them in many places and I think there definitely needs to be more of them. Don't get me wrong I'm not some sort of "pro breastfeeding breast is best" kind of person ! I believe a fed happy baby is the best form of feeding. Nobody should be pressured judged or talked down too for choosing either method. Its what works for you. As I have said before I didn’t even think I would breastfeed, but the littlest things can make a massive difference to helping you especially in the early days.

We have been preservering with a dummy too. With not much success to be honest. She will take it occasionally but not for long and would much prefer her fingers! I have brought a fair few different ones to try, and our recent purchase of NUK dummies have been the most positive compared with the others. They are latex and shaped smaller and slightly dimpled which I think must feel a lot more natural to her. I guess she's just not massively fussed with it. The teething is definitely cranking up too. There has been a few days Emelia has really suffered. We purchased an Baltic Amber bracelet which can help with the pains of teething. We are also using Ashton and Parsons teething powders(they are amazing!). I can't recommend them enough, I like that they are herbal, and they work incredibly well and quickly too. They are easy to administer just pour the powder dry directly onto the tongue and Emelia really likes it !!

We have had a busy month all in all, and we try and get out and about as much as possible. I go stir crazy sat at home! so even just out for a walk makes the day go more smoothly. We also go to a couple of baby groups too which Emelia really enjoys. She now stays awake during them, whereas before when she would be asleep after just 10 minutes. Ive noticed she’s also very aware of the other babies around her and will smile or coo at them. Getting to some groups is great for me also. I love having some other mummy friends who you can share advice with or just have a good chat with, it makes you feel normal. At the end of this month we have just had the last set of first vaccinations which is good, so no more now until she turns one. Luckily Emelia was never really affected by having them and they just made her really sleepy for about 2 days. One main thing for the end of this post is that out of nowhere her sleep pattern has slightly upturned. She is so cuddly (more than usual!) and will only really settle in my arms. Putting her down once she’s asleep has also become difficult, which is something we’ve never struggled with so I will update you on wether this was just a phase, or something I am in for the long run! 

This months Favourites:
-Jumperoo
-chewing hands!
-kisses (makes her giggle!)

I hope you enjoyed !

​Robyn x

An honest review of a  few random baby items I have found useful since having Emelia!

1. Snuffle babe asprator
These disgusting little things help suck out all the mucus up little ones noses,. They are great for helping babies breath better, and also take milk easier when they are blocked up. Emelia had her first cold at 8 weeks, and until I brought one of these, I had to sit upright with her on my chest because she was so stuffy (at night too). When I looked online for suggestions as to what I could use, this was so popular.  I found the idea of using these disgusting at first but honestly, they are a life saver and work really well. There is a stopper, so you dont get whatever your sucking through the tube in your mouth too. Eurgh!!! All in all, gross but very effective! 

2. Lasinioh breast pads
​ These breast pads are the best I've found. They keep you dry day, or night, and comfortable. I didn't know wether I would need to use breast pads at all (naive.. I know!), but they are so good and worth the price. They are more expensive then the generic ones that you can get, but they are hands down worth it. I’m sure other breastfeeding mums can sympathise, but going out without any breast pads is a no no! And I've found I can’t live without these! The other day when rushing out I completely forgot when getting dressed to use any, so whilst driving to my friends, I had to use sanitary towels instead! I know, Omg ...Major mum fail, but I will not make that mistake again! You can get these in most supermarkets and super drug is definitely worth a try. 

3. Next to me crib 
This has been an "I wish we had this from the beginning" type of purchase. We had Emelia in her moses basket up until about 10 weeks, and it just wasn’t spacious enough any more. Because I still breastfeed and not feeling ready to put her in her own room, we purchased the next to me crib. Its so much more roomier, and I love that I can keep an eye on her without having to get out of bed. Its great just being able to pick her up to feed, and then straight back down to sleep. You can also raise, or lower the legs to fit against the bed. Or if your child suffers with colic or reflux, you can slightly raise the head end. This has really helped, and Emelia is much less sicky. We also recently went away for the weekend, and this easily packed away in the travel bag so we could take it with us. I really didn't think a bedside crib would be something we used, but it works so well for us.

4. Ewan dream sheep 
Ewan (or eewann as we call him) sends me to sleep! Never mind my child!.. He plays comforting Womb sounds, White noise, heartbeats, and a harp lullaby. Again we purchased this after having Emelia, but really like it, and have used him as part of her bedtime routine since birth. She’s not attached to him like a cuddly toy, but associates the sounds with bedtime. I put it back on during the night when she wakes, and it has helped to resettle after waking. His tummy glows red with a comforting light, and he switches off after running for about 20 minutes. There is a strap you can attach to the side of the cot, or moses basket which is helpful. Since she's a bit older, Emelia does try to grab him! There are quite a few different types of these cot toys, but I didn't want to spend a lot on something I was unsure would work, and to be honest, no toy is going to put your child instantly to sleep. Currently with Emelia, her sleep pattern has been changing quite anyways. This product is definitely helpful though. 

5. Mamaroo
This gadget Reggie was so desperate to get. We stumbled across this baby chair whilst looking through endless magazines full of baby products. Its not cheap, and something we really considered if we needed, or just wanted, but actually it has worked really well for us. We dont sit Emelia in it for too long, but it certainly has its place of use throughout the day. If she’s a bit grumpy, I find it works well, and she doesn’t get bored because she’s constantly moving. She tends to just fall straight asleep in it! I also like the size and shape of the seat. Its kind of egg shaped so I feel it holds the baby really well, and its very supportive. There is a newborn insert that can also be removed as the baby gets older and you can also recline or "sit up" the seat into a laying or more upright position. There are 5 movement settings, and 5 sound settings. One including aux so you can pick your own music! You can also control the mamaroo wirelessly from your phone. I know major laziness. I guess you could definitely cope without having all of these features, and at the end of the day it is just a baby rocker. I guess I would have just been happy with a regular chair, but this one has been something we use all the time, and I haven't ever thought "oh what a waste of money".  

Being a mum without a mum 

Its hard to know wether to write about something so close to your heart when doing a blog, but i've decided there are many reasons why I should and why I want to. I always aspired to be a mum like my mum. She was always so loving and tentative just like a mum should be. I have countless memories of things she use to do with me and my sister, from day trips out to the beach or simply reading Harry Potter to me beacause I was too scared to read it myself! (major wimp as a child and I was quite young!) She always would say how being a mum was her favourite thing and how she couldn't wait to be a grandmother.

In 2010 When mum first got diagnosed, I was 18 at the time and because she was so early in her diagnosis I didn't really think of the prospect of mum not being there to see me and my sister have children or get married. When your parents get ill, I suppose you lose your sense of security, especially when they've always been the ones to look after you. I guess in a way you take for granted that they are always there because you have no other reason to feel differently. 

In November 2013 me and reggie found out we were expecting our first baby. I felt a whole mix of emotions but was happy and once I'd spoke to my mum I could see how excited and happy she was. She always said when she was poorly about not being around to see grandchildren so for all of us it was a renewed sense of looking forward, and a bit of happiness at a very scary time. She was never negative though and only spoke positively through her time of being ill. It was so uplifting to see mum so happy again she had that spark back. We spoke of the names me and reggie liked (one was Amelia ) and how I could spend my days when on maternity with my mum and the baby. When I miscarried as well as being distraught I felt guilt for not being able to give my mum a grandchild at that time. My hormones were all over the place and it was such a difficult time. I know it wasn’t my fault and as everyone says its very common ect but until you’ve been through one you dont quite realise how its going to make you feel. And you shouldn’t ever feel guilty for the emotions you feel. Its called being human. Through those next 2 years I battled immense guilt and patches of depression whilst my mum dipped in and out of being poorly. Whenever other people had there babies around mum they would joke and say when was I going to make my mum a nanny. (obviously not knowing that I had miscarried or how desperately I wanted too) I would just laugh and shrug it off but was still so upset with not being a mum and my mum knew it. This is why I always say aswell as my rainbow Emelia is my little gift obviously not all down to my mum lol but its unbelievable how things work out and how I fell pregnant just 3 months after she passed away.

I’m lucky in the sense as I have 100’s of pictures of my mum that I can show Emelia, and other children and she also made blankets and hats and booties that I’m terrified to take outside in case they get lost! She even brought me a “congratulations its a girl” card to put in my memory box. (like how did she know!) 

I always talk to Emelia about her nanny and how she’s always watching her. It hurts how much I wish my mum could see her and be apart of her life. And there isn’t a day go by that I dont think about her. Its funny, as a mum you always look to your own mum for advice on things and almost want your child to be brought up with the same values and that one person you would always turn to for that advice is your mum. I’m so lucky that Reggies family are very supportive and my Auntie who is my Mums twin sister and very similar in her ways, is always on hand which helps immensely. She helped when I was in labour had mastitis and has advised me so much through breastfeeding. Having her around me and Emelia is invaluable and so comforting. 

​It definitely makes you a lot more aware of what people are going through around you, and the grief they may be going through, and how you could just pass someone in the street thats going through a really tough time. And of course all the other people who have lost special people from there lives and face getting married and having a family without them in it. Life is so so very delicate and precious beyond belief. 

When we found it we were having a girl the name Amelia was right at the top of our list . We wanted something for my mum but still for our little girl to have a name of her own. So you may have noticed that we changed Amelia to Emelia as its nearly all the letters of Melanie and Grace because my mum loved that name so much. I love that she has a story to go with her name and that it means so much too. 

So I didn’t know quite how that would go. To be honest I felt quite emotional writing it, and its in no way to make any one feel sorry for me or anything. I always wanted my blog to be to the point and honest I’m just being truthful, its real and just how I feel. 

Although I have lost so much, so have other people and more so. Grief is immeasurable and different for everybody and although at times I am very upset still, I am so unbelievably grateful for what I do have. I am so lucky and blessed to have my family, my friends, my sister, Reggie and my daughter and I tell myself that every day. 

My best Buys this month 

Ikea Candle

So I ended up going to Ikea right at the end of last month as a bit of a spur of the moment thing. I managed to pick up some really good bits, (you can never come away from Ikea with nothing, I think its physically impossible!) there wasn't anything I was partially after so it was nice just to have a good look. I came away with a couple of bits for Emelia's nursery, but for myself I brought one of their candles. I think the exact price of these is £1.75 and I got the peach and orange scent there larger than votive size so a real bargain and Oh my word it smells amazing. The smell really lasts well for the price and has such a warming fresh smell I wish I had brought some more of these as i'm always after candles that scent fills the room, and lasts. They are well worth it and because of the price you dont mind burning through them!

White company Sleeping bag

Another bargain purchase. We've been using sleeping bags with Emelia at night as she always kicks off her blankets and they are so nice and cosy without the restrictions of swaddling. She's so long so her gro bag isn't as spacious anymore, so I had been on the lookout for some replacements for the winter months. I stumbled across these in the white company's mid season sale and as with all their products they are such good quality and just so lovely. They are 2.5 tog and a mid grey with a cute polar bear pattern I think the design is from their "lumi" range. They are so soft and thick and just generally well made. I decided to just go for 2 of the same as I liked that they were neutral and would go over any sleep suit or with any light blanket. All in all I payed £27... for them both! (I know !) I can't wait to start using them.

Amber Pumpkin Baltic Amber Bracelet

So on my Instagram I asked for recommendations for teething so thank you for all the messages.  One suggestion was an Amber bracelet. Some people are quite sceptical about these and if they actually work, but anything natural and non medicinal I am all for if they can help. At the spa we do a treatment that uses Amber, and so I knew already about its healing and reenergising properties. I think this one will be a long term thing to see if any improvements come from using it, but in the mean time I am happy with the adjustable style for growth and the quality. I opted for Honey as I was advised the lighter the colour the more potent the amber so i thought midway would be good. I purchased the adjustable one so I wouldn't have to keep replacing as she grows, and I have been using it around her ankle so it doesn't bother her or interfere with play. 

Benefit porefessional

My skin has been so different since Ive had Emelia, its really changeable at the moment aswell, I think due to the colder weather. I don't always like wearing a primer because I find you feel like you wearing so many layers (serum, moisturiser, foundation ect..) so I tend to avoid. However my skin felt as though it needed something to smooth it before my foundation layer. I had come across a previous review of this primer so knew it was one that worked well for others, so when looking for one last month this was at the top of my list. I was so pleased when I found it in a mini size too.  There is nothing worse then buying a full size product that works crap on you! Anyhow this lightweight primer has been fab. Its advertised as a balm texture however I think balm sounds quite hard and waxy so personally I'd describe it as a gel. Its translucent in colour and once applied leaves your skin feel silky but matte. Just really soft. My foundation went on lovely and set perfectly on top. No rolling or flaking of too much product. Ive tried quite a few primers including estée lauder which goes with my foundation, but this one I found just works so much better. I realise that a primer is often a step left out by most people but if you are If your in need of a one for a special occasion this is definitely one to give ago!

Pukka Motherkind tea

Another recommendation from a friend. So I had a major bad mother moment the other day! Emelia wouldn't settle in the evening. She was just so awake, not unhappy just so wide awake sometimes not settling until half eleven at night (face palm). It wasn't until I was having a coffee morning with some other mums and they asked me wether I had cut down on caffeine due to breastfeeding. That point I had a lightbulb moment, but also huge pang of guilt that it was me that was keeping my child wired come an evening. I sheeply replied yes and brought a box of decaf tea on the way home! the following day on decaffeinated tea Emelia was in bed by 8pm!! anyway back to the motherkind tea. It tastes great and is specifically formulated for breastfeeding mums so NO CAFFEINE !! Its got great ingredients like Fennel, Aniseed and Lemongrass to help keep you and baby Nourished and Healthy. I do drink a good amount of water but in the evenings I love a hot drink so this is a really nice alternative. I will say I found this quite difficult to get hold off. None of my local supermarkets stocked it so I got it from one further afield it does seem readily available online though. Although this is stated for breastfeeding mums, I doubt it would make you spontaneously produce milk. It contains fab ingredients so either way would be great even if your not a mother or feeding but When I do stop I am going to try the other teas in the womankind range as they look equally as good. This tea also doesn't taste too bad cold ! Which is a common occurrence these days!

So here it is, my birth story! I wasn’t sure when or, if I wanted to include my birth story in my blog, but I feel I had such a positive experience why not! So here goes...

Saturday 22nd July :

Due date! And feeling it. I managed to stay fairly calm at the end of my pregnancy, trying not to fret too much with wanting baby out as soon as possible. I knew she would make her appearance once she was ready and that it could get well into august before we met her. I woke up really early feeling a few niggly pains. I looked at the time and it was 4 am. So they had been uncomfortable enough to wake me. Every 10 minutes I would get these mildly uncomfortable cramps and so I started to time them just in case. By time 7 am came they had petered out and Reggie went into work. I told him I would let him know if I needed him to come back. I got up and made myself some pancakes with the pretence of if I was to go into labour I needed to be prepped and energised for it! I then napped a little because I had been awake so early. That afternoon I spent sorting the last few bits in the nursery and pottered around at home not wanting to head out too far. I spent a fair amount of time pacing around at home though and bouncing on my birthing ball and doing squats!! Trying to stay mobile and quick start labour if it really was round the corner. After going to my birthing class I knew this stage could potentially take days though so tried not to get my hopes up to much! 

Sunday 23rd July 


I managed to get a fairly good night sleep again but was woken again with the same niggly pains. Nothing to cry wolf about but just enough to notice them . Once again Reggie went into work not wanting to take unnecessary days off for false alarms, plus I was happy enough being at home catching up on tv and getting organised. That afternoon I decided to cook a roast dinner, which was a strange decision due to it being the middle of summer but, it was quite a miserable day weather wise, and I really fancied one. It was a decision well made, as little did I know I wouldn’t have a proper meal for a couple of days! 


Reggie got home from work and we sat down and ate dinner in front of the tv. It was about 7pm when I had a pain that didn't quite feel like the others I had been getting something just didn't feel quite right! I started loosely counting the time between contractions 10 minutes, 12minutes, 7 minutes .. they were still irregular and not following a pattern as such so at 9:30 I decided to have a shower and get some rest as I knew It could be a long night. I layed in bed still counting, at this point they were getting closer together and more intense my stomach felt hard as rock but I took deep breaths, and closed my eyes trying too rest as much as possible but not able to actually sleep. At 11:30 I felt Emelia kick really hard and and my tummy felt so strange I got up and went to the bathroom and thats when my waters broke.

Monday 24th July 

Literally right from my waters breaking the contractions sped right up to every 2 minutes, and a lot more painful. They were still manageable at that point but they were definitely getting more painful and intense. The frequency of them was concerning me aswell as we are 35 miles away from the hospital, and I didn’t fancy giving birth in the car. I rang through to the delivery suite and they told me to come in since my waters had broken and my contractions were so close together. Once we arrived I went round to the MLBU Where I was examined and .. Nothing not even dilating I was getting contractions every 2 minutes but nothing was happening and at this point it was bloody painful! They monitored me for about an hour, but then I was sent home with a tens machine and instructed to wait till the length of my contractions lasted for nearer a minute. I was told I would need to come back 12:00 midday due to my waters breaking, and I needed to be re examined and induced if labour didn't progress. So at least I knew baby would be coming some point soon! We arrived back home at 5:30 am and I sat on my birthing ball deep breathing and using the tens machine. (still contracting every 2 minutes but only lasting for a maximum of 30 seconds) I managed to have another shower and get dressed and we went back up to the hospital at 10:30 that morning as I was in so much pain. I managed quite well at home for another 5 hours but I had no idea when to gauge going back in as my contractions were still so close together. When we got back to the hospital I was put back on the monitor I now had proof of the intensity and the contractions that were coming so regularly! Reggie sat beside me commenting on the machine numbers flying up whenever I had a contraction ( that didn’t go down well. The last thing you want is to be reminded of the pain your feeling !). It was about 1:00 pm when I wanted some gas and air so I was reexamined. Finally I was 5 cm and sent round to the birthing room. Those next few hours actually then felt like they went really quickly. My lovely midwife got me a bean bag so I could get comfortable and I managed to stay as mobile as possible throughout the whole time. When not walking around, I was kneeling forward to try and get her moving! It was 5:00 when I can really remember things cranking up. I think that was when I reached the transitional stage and at that point could have easily had an epidural. Instead I opted for pethadene, before she administered it My midwife used a doppler to check on Emelia and it took a while to find her heartbeat. She moved it around nothing. To the other side , nothing. Those couple of minutes I really worried until she finally found her again, but she reasured us and explained how she had just moved down so low ready for delivery. The pethidine worked really well and spaced me out! It was nice to feel more relaxed and I was able to rest as best as possible. I can remember hearing Reggie talking to the midwife, and he asked roughly how long from this stage it might be, and she said it would probably be around 9:00 this evening and I would have a new midwife come in once she finished her shift. Ten minutes later I was pushing!


It was that quick from having the pethadene. I hadn’t slept for about 36 hours so I feel like it just gave me and hour of recharging and I was ready to go ! My body had relaxed enough for that last cm. It was 7:00 pm when I started pushing and all in all took 23 minutes to get baby out. Once Emelias head was out My midwife said she'd had her cord around her neck so unlooped it. Right from that moment she started crying and she wasn’t even fully out yet ! She was born at 7:23 and once dried off she was passed up to me. I had expected to be an emotional mess but I didn’t cry just felt so incredibly complete and like Id known her forever. She layed with her eyes wide open in our arms and I just couldn't stop staring at her our perfect little girl. 


Once the placenta had been delivered my midwife weighed Emelia and introduced me to my new midwife who had just arrived to do the rest of my aftercare. I showered whilst Reggie sat holding Emelia and the doctor arrived for checks and stitched me. I was then asked if I wanted to breastfeed. I had brought everything to bottle feed and I honestly had a lot of doubts with breastfeeding but decided to just try and if I needed to bottle feed I could. But to my surprise she latched perfectly and the midwife said shed never seen a newborn feed so well! Im so glad I decided to at least try and the fact I haven’t put any pressure on myself the whole time I think has really helped. I have exclusively breastfed the whole 3 months and although its not been easy once I got through the first 5 weeks it has been a breeze since. Unfortunately I was an hour short of being able to go home that evening due to my waters breaking so early during labour so we had to stay that night but reggie was able to stay with us and actually it was so lovely to have that time as the 3 of us and have our little one all to ourselves. I know a lot of mums say how you dont sleep that first night . But I was shattered and I think I could of slept if it wasn’t for the 20 other babies screaming through the night on the ward ! 


I am a strong believer in there not being a “perfect birth” and you just have to do what you have to do, so much so I decided not even to write a birth plan. I knew I didn’t want to go in a birthing pool but that was about it. Reggie wasn’t even sure about cutting Emelia’s cord but decided to last minute. I can honestly say that I enjoyed my labour though and yes I was lucky it was uncomplicated and was straight forward but I guess because I had no expectations to how I wanted it to go I had nothing to be disappointed with. I say if you can do it with no pain relief good for you but If you need something you are no more of a warrior for not having it. Its the 21st century and those things are there to help you through a very painful time! I defiantly won’t be writing a birth plan again next time either.

So all in all 24 hours of labour, lots of gas and air and a shot of pethidine! But more importantly my beautiful little lady Bugg
I hope you enjoyed!
 

Robyn x