Being sleep deprived isn't just about feeling really tired, somehow your body kind of  just adjusts to that, but compensates by giving you the worst baby brain ever! I am forever forgetful. I forget who I've spoke with, where I’ve put things and just general stupidness! it's like pregnancy Brain but, a whole new level ! I always thought pregnancy brain wasn’t real and was just an excuse but oh my word, definitely not ! My brain feels like a constant fog! To be honest Emelia doesn’t even sleep that badly so I can’t say its completely that, But the combination of hormones less sleep and just being a mum definitely doesn’t help. People always say about the changes your life goes through once you’ve had a baby, and yes don’t get me wrong priority’s have definitely shifted, but my life defiantly isn’t over or even changed that much. Emelia has fitted into our family and lives so perfectly. Just like a jigsaw piece that was always missing , and she really couldn’t have come at a better time.

Yes the superficial things have changed. Like my horrendous pregnancy/baby brain and not being able to shower without having Emelia in the same room. Or breastfeeding whilst trying to eat and constantly drinking cold tea, but honestly, none of that matters,  you do just get used to it ! When I found out I was expecting Emelia, it was 3 months after my mum passed away from cancer and a week after my close friend lauren was killed in a car accident by a drunk driver. Those first few months were just a haze of horrendous morning sickness, Fainting and sleep. I had managed to return to work after a week after my mums death and my amazing colleagues and friends including Lauren helped support me through what I never expected to be such a difficult time. Lauren’s death (I hate that word so much, its so so brutal and harsh) Came completely out of nowhere it never should have happened, and was a complete shock to everyone. Those first months of sickness were overwhelming and I felt lost in myself. I had convinced myself that I was going to miscarry the baby as I had miscarried 3 years prior and the stress I was under could not be good for a growing baby. I think all of this elevated my pregnancy symptoms and that was why I felt like I couldn’t even move for the first couple of months. 


At our 12 week scan I’d convinced myself that there wouldn’t be anything to see, or something wouldn’t be right. I didn’t look at the screen as the sonographer placed the scanner on my stomach. But when I did, there she was wriggling all over the place. I cried and knew things were going to be okay. I was very anxious due to the things that had happened, but being pregnant through grieving my mum and my friend although was very tough, was in a way beautiful knowing this little gift had been given to bring me strength.

So for me life has changed in the sense of I do feel a stronger person, and becoming a mum has grounded me at what felt like a very lost time.  I feel really renewed since having Emelia, and its felt a lot easier looking and moving forward. That's not saying that I don't have hard days because I’m always thinking of my mum and also Lauren, however Emelia is my therapy in so many ways. I am so happy with how my life has changed.
I hope you enjoyed reading. Not quite the direction I expected this blog post to go, however I have written exactly what, and how I feel. 

Robyn x

So I have decided to condense my 1 and 2 months updates into one post, as in the first month Emelia didn’t change too much. I often get asked if it makes me sad seeing her grow and get bigger, and not being the tiny newborn she was at the beginning, but I am loving all the little changes in her and the new things she is starting to do. Im sure when she gets super big I may change my mind on that question though! 


1 month old
At 1 month old Emelia is holding her head up so much more as she has a lot more strength in her and is what I describe as more robust. She obviously is still fragile but not like a fresh newborn is. She has found her grasp and grabs hold of our fingers when we put our hands near her and has started smiling at me and reggie. They are not that regular but the cutest things ever! She literally melts me when she smiles. She is also loving bath times and has never cried during a bath. and I do tend to bath her everyday just because she enjoys it so much. I like that its part of her bedtime routine and it seems to work well in relaxing her before bed. At 1 Month old she wakes roughly 3 times through the night.

  

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 2months old
In Emelia’s second month I have noticed so many changes. Her newborn cry has changed, and I can hear a massive difference in her cry for different things. She seems to have a hungry cry, a shouty "Come back mummy!" cry, and a pained cry. I would say yes, this makes knowing what she wants easier but to be honest sometimes she will just cry (as baby do!). Emelia has been poorly twice this month once with a cold, and second when she had her 8 week vaccinations. I was so nervous for her having them but luckily she coped really well with them and was back to herself the following day.  Toys have became a big thing! I tend to have to prop her up when she is exploring them with pillows as she hates being laid flat, which I do think this has a lot to do with her reflux (so its uncomfortable for her to be laid too flat).  I can pass her something and she will take it, so she won’t actually play with the toys but she knows that we are giving her something and she smiles at certain toys! I found it really difficult at the beginning to know what toys Emelia would want to play with for the first couple of months (I am going to write a separate blog post about what toys seem to suit what age) but there are defiantly some that catch her eye more than others. We’ve been taking her on so many walks lately, trying to get out whilst the weather isn’t too bad, and  one of our favourite places is the woods. Emelia loves looking at all the trees above her and coos and talks as we walk around. She’s always shattered by time we get home!  The smiles have been coming thick and fast, although she does seem like quite a serious baby! She tends to save most of her smiles for me and reggie and makes everyone else work a lot harder for a little smile! Usually she just stares people out, so when I do get a smile she means it if you know what I mean. She has had her first giggle! But only the once and it was honestly the funniest thing! The sound just came from no where!

​At 2 and half months she weighs 11lb 13oz so has gained about 5lb since birth. She tends to stay awake for a lot longer now and her attention span is defiantly increasing. She also is a lot more interested in whats going on around her and who she’s with. She loves music and loves it when daddy sings to her !! She tends to lay with her head to the left or the right and so her hair has rubbed off a little on each side but she has kept the rest of it. We always get comments on how much hair she has and its starting to curl up a little too. I just hope it doesn’t end up as crazy as mine when I was younger!

During this month at 9 weeks we took her swimming for the first time. I was slightly nervous she wouldn’t like it and scream the place down, but just like her baths, she loved it! We stayed in for about 20 mins until she started falling asleep, but she did kick her legs around in the water and had a good look around, taking it all in. She didn't smile whilst swimming but, we’ve taken her every week since, so hopefully she will start to get more used to going soon. At 2 months old she wakes around twice each night.


This months favourites:
- Smiles when we sing to her 
- Lamaze Octotunes toy 
- walks in the woods

I hope you enjoyed reading this little update on Emelia !

Robyn x

Fitness and family 

Working out has definitely changed since My little Bugg arrived, my once daily workout sessions have changed to wherever I can squeeze it in! I often wondered how much I would be able to do once baby had arrived, and to be honest it is a lot less than what I expected. Being a mum keeps you busy !! I currently do a combination of gym, home workouts and just making sure I get out for a walk if fitting them in is difficult. I know this will change as Emelia gets older and I’m not far into my postpartum journey so taking things slowly is good anyway. Emelia is my priority, and so swimming with her or a walk is plenty good enough for me.  Fitness and working out has always been apart of my life and something I enjoy so much. I danced right from a very young age so growing up I was always active and on the go. My mum used to laugh at me saying I could never sit still! Once I moved away and stopped dancing I began more intesive workouts and running. I love how energised I feel after, and its great thinking space and time to reflect on things. Running helped me a lot  whilst my mum was so poorly, and so I knew I would want to include this in my post partum routine once I was ready to establish one. 

Although my sickness was bad at the beginning, I still managed to keep up with a small routine throughout my pregnancy. I did however stop running at 5 months pregnant as my hips felt too uncomfortable. Since my postpartum checkup I've been gradually increasing my workout program although I don't plan on doing as much as I did prior to becoming pregnant.  
I was so surprised to return to my pre pregnancy weight quicker than I had expected.  My muscle tone is not how it used to be though and my shape has definatly changed. There is undoubtfully huge amounts of pressure to “bounce back” quickly after giving birth but there are many reasons as to why this may not happen for a good while.  After all it took 9 months to grow like that !Taking your time is key and remembering everybody is different.

After my first workout although it felt amazing to be back into exercising, I honestly felt like my insides were going to fall out! my stomach tone just wasn’t the same and id only given birth 6 weeks prior it really was so tough ! The second time I pulled a muscle in my chest and knew I was pushing myself too much and needed to be on top form to look after Emelia. Since then I have slowed it right down and I’m able to increase it bit by bit. I guess I have expected to get back in the gym and carry on right where Id left off. Wrong! I would honestly suggest to anyone wanting to get back into exercising to speak with a personal trainer or someone able to guide you. I presumed because I’d got the all clear at the doctors I would be good to go back to normal, and thats not always the case. Im interested to see where I will be in another 6 months time but I will be sure to keep you updated as to how its going.
please let me know what you think and I would love to hear any of your postpartum fitness stories. 
Robyn x
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Becoming a new mum or dad can be so bewildering, full of advice regulations, government guidelines and opinions. This can all in all end up leaving you feeling more confused than enlightened. What I have learnt in my short amount of time of being a mum is that aslong as your being safe and baby is fed, happy and loved you can’t go wrong . If baby misses bath time before bed it doesn’t matter. If you fail to get up and dressed before midday (or at all !) it does not matter. Following your way of parenting definitely makes for a happy mum and baby. Below I have shared my own personal top tips for new mums (or dad)  this is from my own experience so may not suit everyone but this is what I have found. 

1. You know baby best more than anyone. Yes sometimes things can get a little hazy and occasionally he or she may be having a scream for nothing (babies seem to like to do that to us!) but as much advice as any other person, friend or mother may give you, you know whats best for your baby and what they need most. After all every baby is different and people love to give you advice on there own personal experiences, this can sometimes be helpful but, I think parenting is a very personal thing and what works for one person certainly won’t work for everyone.

2.  Babies grow out of there moses baskets so quickly ! NHS guidelines advise that babies should  not sleep un supervised until at least 6 months meaning if you dont have room for a large cot in your bedroom sometimes finding something suitable for baby to sleep in can be tricky! Emelia is so long her dad being 6ft 2 is clearly where she gets her long legs from, and the reason she is wearing size 3-6 month baby grows at 1 month old ! this meant her tiny moses basket which we brought for her started getting a bit cramp from about 8 weeks old. We have just brought her the chicco next to me crib so she can still be in the same room as us, but because its more spacious its more comfortable for her. I honestly wish we had had this from day one it is amazing ! and would have made life so much easier in the early days of cluster feeding (oh gosh) we will definatly be keeping this for subsequent little buggs!
 
3.   When going out leave an extra hour for everything or you will be late ! (well maybe only me) or pack and plan everything the night before. I love going out with Emelia even if its just for a walk but with a baby you do need a lot more items (like literally the kitchen sink! ) I haven’t used any of my lovely handbags since she has arrived. Admittedly I did kind of expect this so brought a lovely changing bag in exchange however it is full to the brink for any eventuality that may occur on a day trip out. And you will always find you will want to feed change baby before venturing out a quick feed can sometimes take 20 mins and by time you’ve changed got baby in car forgot to lock back door ect your running late! 

4.     Drink loads of water ! Drinking water helps with so much throughout pregnancy and after when baby is here. If your breastfeeding you will naturally feel very thirsty anyway and keeping hydrated helps your supply, but even if you are not, drinking plenty of water helps with your energy levels. I find I feel much less lethargic if I drink plenty. 

5.       Never feel bad for sitting and snuggling baby for hours on end ! You really cannot spoil a new born they have spent 9 months growing in your womb so close to you, so sitting and cuddling up to baby is allowed ! My little girl seems fairly independent so when she wants to snuggle up I take them moments ! plus you deserve it parenting can be hard and tiring so there is nothing wrong with that !

​Robyn x